Forgiveness in Marriage: The Key to a Lasting Relationship
It’s almost impossible to go through life without relationships, and equally impossible to navigate relationships without causing or experiencing offense. Differences in personality, communication styles, selfishness, and even simple misunderstandings make conflict inevitable. When these conflicts arise, they can either fracture or strengthen a relationship—depending on whether forgiveness is sought and granted.
Everyone desires to be forgiven when they’ve done wrong. But the way people respond to their mistakes varies. Some people, recognizing the value of reconciliation, humble themselves and seek forgiveness to restore the relationship. Others, even while longing for forgiveness deep down, let their pride prevent them from apologizing. The fear of feeling small or vulnerable keeps them trapped in their guilt and prevents healing.
Understanding Human Relationships and Marriage
Similarly, the willingness to forgive varies among those who’ve been wronged. Some people are quick to release offenses, understanding that holding on to resentment does more harm than good. Others, however, cling tightly to their grievances, sometimes even swearing never to forgive certain people. But as Christian teaching reminds us, forgiveness is not just a moral duty—it’s a condition for receiving forgiveness from God. As Matthew 6:12, 14–15 (KJV) states, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors… For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Unforgiveness can weigh heavily on both the offended and the offender. A lingering sense of guilt can lead to depression, while holding onto resentment drains emotional energy. You can’t be angry and happy at the same time; every moment spent in anger is a moment of peace lost. Sustaining a grudge takes emotional effort—it’s like carrying a heavy weight that only increases with time. Ironically, the person harboring resentment often suffers more than the one who caused the hurt.
How to Heal a Broken Marriage: Biblical Steps for Restoration
In marriage, forgiveness is not just helpful—it’s essential. Ruth Bell Graham put it simply: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Disagreements are inevitable, but they present an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding when followed by sincere reconciliation. The affection that flows from making peace after a conflict can renew the relationship, strengthening the bond between partners.
Scripture recognizes that anger itself isn’t sinful—it’s the failure to reconcile that causes damage. Ephesians 4:26–27 (NKJV) advises, “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” When anger lingers, it becomes fertile ground for resentment, bitterness, and further division. Seeking forgiveness and offering it require humility—a quality that pride resists. King Solomon’s wisdom in Proverbs 6:2–5 (NAS) reinforces the importance of humility and quick reconciliation: “If you have been snared with the words of your mouth… go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor.”
How to Heal a Broken Marriage: Biblical Steps for Restoration
Marriage requires more than love—it requires forgiveness. As Mignon McLaughlin wrote, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Judith Viorst adds that marriage helps keep couples together during the inevitable ups and downs, giving them the chance to rediscover love over and over again.
Pride destroys relationships, while humility and forgiveness rebuild them. Proverbs 16:18–19 (NIV) reminds us, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.” True strength in a relationship comes from the ability to apologize, to forgive, and to rebuild without keeping score.
To sustain a fulfilling and lasting marriage, couples must learn not only to forgive but also to seek forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift that preserves peace and deepens connection. Marlene Dietrich’s advice holds true: “Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” Forgiveness is not about forgetting—it’s about letting go, choosing peace over resentment, and allowing love to thrive.
