What does the Bible say about wives submitting to their husbands

Jerry McCant once advised, “You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself.” A successful marriage demands a certain death to self. Nothing could be truer. It requires self-denial to be submissive to your husband.

When a woman chooses marriage, she willingly forfeits the freedom and status she once enjoyed in her parents’ house. She takes on the additional responsibilities of motherhood, being a housewife, and serving as a companion to her husband. These new roles require significant adjustments to cope with their demands. If she has been living independently or on her “high horse,” marriage calls for a reconciliation with the reality of her new life.

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The Bible provides guidance on this matter:  

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24, NIV)

Freedom is not gained through confrontation, as some believe. Those who insist on securing it through sheer defiance often fail. Instead, true freedom is found in the wisdom of Jesus, who said:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-26, NIV)

A marriage filled with constant arguments over rights and independence can lead to a deep wound that, over time, may cause the relationship to break. Ironically, the “freedom” one gains in the process is often the painful solitude of single parenthood.

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However, if a wife submits fully, she may feel as though she has surrendered all her freedom to her husband. Friends and family may criticize her, seeing her as weak, outdated, or even under a spell. Yet, in time, the same people may claim that she has gained control over her husband, as he begins to value and respect her even more. This reflects the paradox of worldly thinking—when you do the right thing, the world sees it as wrong; when you do wrong, the world calls it right. This is why the Bible warns:

“Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” (James 4:4, NIV)

True freedom in marriage is found through total submission. Jesus Himself demonstrated complete humility and obedience, and as a result:

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“Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross. Therefore, God also highly exalted Him and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:7-11, NKJV)

Jesus also declared,  “All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.” (Matthew 28:18, KJV)

In the same way, a wife who practices total submission will not regret it, for she will ultimately gain her rightful place of influence and respect in her home. Do otherwise, and she risks losing everything.