The Biggest Mistakes Couples Make Before Getting Married

Sydney J. Harris once said, “Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.”

This statement rings true because many people enter marriage without understanding its purpose or requirements. They assume love or societal expectations will naturally lead to success, without ever taking the time to prepare for the realities of married life. As a result, many marriages fail—not because love wasn’t there, but because the partners lacked the knowledge and skills needed to nurture and sustain their union.

Read – How Faith in God Can Transform Your Marriage

Too often, people get married simply because they see others doing so. It’s like the story of a young man from a village who visited Lagos for the first time. Unfamiliar with the city, he carefully followed directions to his destination. Early one morning, as he walked past a railway level crossing, he noticed a crowd of workers hurrying toward the bus stop.

After walking a short distance, he saw people around him suddenly pick up their pace, chatting excitedly. Soon, they started running. Unaware of the reason, he panicked, recalling all the frightening tales he had heard about life in Lagos. Fearing danger, he joined them in their sprint. The faster they ran, the faster he ran—until they all safely crossed the railway before the gate closed. Only then did he understand: they had been running to avoid being late for work.

By blindly following the crowd, the young man wasted time and energy. Worse still, by the time he finally reached his destination, his host had already left for work. What a costly mistake! Ignorance, as this story shows, can lead to unnecessary struggles. In marriage, such ignorance can have far greater consequences—leading to broken homes, emotional scars, and regrets that may never fully heal.

Read – What Does the Bible Say About the Purpose of Marriage?

Some parents, unaware of the significance of proper preparation, push their children into marriage with the belief that they will “learn on the job.” While experience does teach, marriage is not something to be entered into without a solid foundation. It is not just a “training ground” but a place to apply all the lessons one has learned since childhood—from parents, schools, friends, faith, and society. The success of a marriage largely depends on the quality of these lessons and the willingness to put them into practice.

This is why raising children with a clear understanding of marriage is crucial. If a child grows up with the right mindset about relationships, responsibility, and commitment, they will recognize how all aspects of life contribute to building a strong, loving home. Marriage is not just a milestone—it is the second and final lap of life’s journey. And as the saying goes, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” But for that lifelong journey to be fulfilling, it must be built on wisdom, preparation, and a true understanding of what it means to share a life with someone.